Public vs. Private

I'm sitting in a coffeeshop, with music playing a little louder than I would like, and one guy next to me is talking on his cell-phone in Russian, while a couple are talking to each other across the room intermittently (she pauses to type on her computer and he is on his smartphone). It's the combination of public and private that is so interesting!

I just read my friend Beth Meltzer's blog about her first year of mourning the loss of her beloved husband, Steve. It's a different journey for each of us, but somehow, it helps to see the things that mattered to her.

My recent experience of Baki's 5th yahrzeit was this blend of private/public as well -- 24 people, friends and family, my friends, Baki's friends, their parents, my family -- joined together and told stories. Some shared memories of Baki when he was alive. Some shared memories of his death. Some shared what has changed in their lives and outlook since he died. How we changed our lives in response -- it was all meaningful and hopeful. Not at all "religious" -- no prayers were said, no formula recited -- but deeply connecting and spiritual.

It's an interesting balance -- public and private. Not that every thought should be shared or published! It's more that over the years of sharing my songs and stories, I realize the power of intuition when others respond!